As reported by Natalie Angier in The New York Times, recent findings in a series of sexology studies at the University of Amsterdam suggest that "arousal is not necessarily a conscious process." One researcher said "we think that sexual desire emerges from sexual stimulation, the activation of one's sexual system."

What does this mean for you and me? It suggests that our bodies are hard-wired for arousal, but that we need to trigger that arousal - not with sexual thoughts or fantasies, but with sexual feelings or touch that physically excite us. The key is the body, not necessarily the mind.

So again, you have to tap into what gets you hot: is it a back rub or massage? Is it looking at erotic images of naked bodies? Is it watching a film with explicit sex scenes? This current wave of research seems to indicate that even if you've been having trouble getting aroused, you shouldn't throw in the towel. You may just need to work a little harder at reawakening your body's arousal channels.

As one of the major researchers at the University of Amsterdam put it, "Our sexual responsiveness can be activated or enhanced by stimuli we're not even aware of." So by all means, keep looking or trying to find what does make you hot . . . you may be surprised.


Hot Spring Dates

Whether you're in a long-term relationship or dating someone new, it's always a good idea to inject your date nights with a sense of adventure, instead of relying on the same-old same-old, whatever that may be. As the season turns warmer and you can enjoy the outdoors once again, here are some suggestions:

Go to a drive-in movie. Granted, these are not easy to find, and some only run in summer - but you'll never know until you've checked. And remember, necking in the car is fun!

Picnic at twilight. This requires a bit of planning, and the weather may or may not cooperate. But if you glance at the news in the morning, take that old blanket out of your closet, put together a meal of easy-to-eat food items (grab pre-made antipasto salad at your local grocer's and add a chicken salad, a nice baguette, and some cheese and fruit), and pack a tasty bottle of wine and a couple of glasses - you're set! Eating outdoors awakens the senses - all of them! Just don't forget the corkscrew!

Take a dinner cruise. If you live near any river, lake, bay, or ocean, you're sure to find a small line that offers dinner cruises. What could be more romantic than escaping onto the water with your loved one?

Visit an art museum and follow it with dinner. Again, this suggestion is about opening the senses - art impacts us at a subconscious level, acting as a gateway to our hearts and minds.

Take a couple's yoga class. This form of yoga is gaining in popularity, as it shows couples not only how to connect physically, but spiritually as well. You become more attuned to each other's breath, body, and being - all good things that can lead to so much more!